The Hand and Eye from Some Guy
wondrous item, common
A slightly shriveled left hand and a squishy eyeball.
The Hand of Some Guy
A slightly shriveled left hand. It smells faintly of pickles and regret. No one knows who the guy was, or why this was preserved. Frankly, no one asked.This item has no magical properties or benefits. It's just a hand. Why are you seriously thinking of chopping off your own hand to use this one?
“At some point, you picked up this hand. That was your first mistake.”
The Eye of Some Guy
This glassy eyeball might have belonged to a man named Keith. Or Dave. Who cares? It's a little squishy, unnervingly warm, and somehow always looking slightly off to the left.This item has no magical properties or benefits. Inserting it into your eye socket causes blurry, uncomfortable vision and instant regret.
“Why would you even think to pluck out your own eye in favor of this one?”
If you somehow have both
If you're carrying or have grafted both the Hand and Eye of Some Guy, absolutely nothing happens. You are just a person with bad judgment and a disturbing aesthetic.Lore
Long ago, in a village so forgettable that its name was literally “Unnamed Settlement,” lived a man of spectacular mediocrity. His name has been lost to time—not through tragedy or censorship, but because no one bothered to write it down. He was just... some guy. Not a hero, not a villain, not even particularly nice or mean. He once tripped over his own foot into a well, and the town considered it the most exciting thing he ever did.
Upon his deeply uneventful death (in his sleep, naturally, after eating too much soup), his hand and eye were accidentally embalmed due to a clerical error at the Temple of Proper Burials. They were stored in a reliquary with far more impressive artifacts, then completely forgotten for several centuries. When a particularly ambitious novice archivist rediscovered the labeled jars—“Hand (unclaimed)” and “Eyeball, 1 (misc.)”—they were mistakenly catalogued as powerful remnants of a lost demigod. Adventurers have been confused ever since.It is now whispered among the gullible and the misinformed that these pieces grant unspeakable power. They do not. But this hasn’t stopped two minor cults, three Etsy sellers, and one very confident bard from claiming otherwise.
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